What we provide - Marriage



Engagement
The engagement ceremony, Though the Tamil Brahmins (Iyers and Iyengars) basically follow the same rituals and customs there are slight variations. For instance, the engagement ceremony in the case of the Iyers takes place in the groom's residence whereas the Iyengars follow the custom of hosting it in the bride's home. A 'Vadhyar' (Brahmin priest) writes the 'lagna patrika' specifiying the date, time and venue of the marriage and this serves as a sort of commitment for both families. The bride's family brings fruits and sweetmeats and the groom's people in turn serve them snacks and dinner and present a sari to the bride.
Pandalkal for home
the pandalkal muhurtam or the auspicious moment for defining the sacred space of the festival by the ritual of erecting the pandalkal or pandal pole. This is done in front of the shrine of the Sambandha Vinayagar who is freshly anointed with vermillion and showered with abhishekas for the occasion. Here on the ground the pandalkal decorated with mango leaves and flower garlands is firmly planted inside a pit which has been dug and consecrated earlier with bhumi puja ritual. After the pole is erected, diparadhana and arathi are performed.
Welcoming Groom’s family and relatives
Commencement of marriage ceremonies The bride's family arrives at the marriage venue or 'kalyanamandappam' one day prior to the wedding. The venue is decorated with 'kolam's (attractive designs made with rice powder paste) and flowers. In readiness for the arrival of the groom and his family, the bride's family keeps 'chandan' (sandalwood paste), 'kumkum' (vermilion), rose water, sugar candy, garlands and a platter for the 'aarthi' (traditional welcoming ritual). On the groom's arrival the 'nadaswaram' (traditional wind instrument) is played and the 'aarthi' is performed in his honour.Our serviceMandapam / Marriage hall booking, front side decoration, stage decoration, kollam, sweets, flower garlands, photo / camera, milk-gova and traditonal sweets with new vessels, cool drinks or hot drinks, Nadaswaram & Melam, aarthi, etc...will be arranged in proper manner. .
Kappukettal & Vritham
If the bride's parents are coming to the kalyana mandapam for this function they must bring kuthu vilakku.oil,thiri, match box, knief aasana palagai or thadukku, pancha pathra uthirini, brass sombu, 6 plates and trays, Bell, dhoopa kal; deepa kall. oothubathi, camphor, uthiri poo, haram -2 nos for bride and groom, thodutha flower 10 metre, sugar 1kg, kalkandu.200 gram; manjal, 200 gram; turmeric powder 100 gram, sandal powder 5 gram; kumkumam 10 gram.

paruppu thengai one pair, sweet Seer size. 31 nos. milk halwa 500 gram; dress for groom and for his parents, Dry fruits, Almond, pistha, cashew nuts, kissmiss , lion dates etc; Plantain fruits poovan, rasthali, sevvalai, jack fruit, mangoes, apple, pine apple, grapes, koyya, pomegranate, etc; to be continued
Palikai Seeds Sowing
This is a fertility rite. Pallikais are earthern pots prepared a day earlier. Pots spread at the base with hariali grass and Bael leaves (vilvam). Nine kinds of presoaked cereals are ceremoniously sown in these pots by sumangalis. After the marriage, the sprouted seedlings are released in a river or pool. This ritual invokes the blessing of the eight direction quartered guardian angels (Ashtadikh Paalaks) for a healthy life and progeny to the couple.Our serviceWe will provide palikai in good manner and other required items...etc
Nischaiyahtartham
The engagement ceremony, Though the Tamil Brahmins (Iyers and Iyengars) basically follow the same rituals and customs there are slight variations. For instance, the engagement ceremony in the case of the Iyers takes place in the groom's residence whereas the Iyengars follow the custom of hosting it in the bride's home. A 'Vadhyar' (Brahmin priest) writes the 'lagna patrika' specifiying the date, time and venue of the marriage and this serves as a sort of commitment for both families. The bride's family brings fruits and sweetmeats and the groom's people in turn serve them snacks and dinner and present a sari to the bride.
Janavasam
This is a very important function of the iyer marriage. In the present day it consists of getting dressed in western clothes by the groom at the nearby temple and from there coming to the mantap in a grand procession to accept the bride. The bride’s brother presents the dresses for the occasion to the groom before the januvasam and arrangements are made to take them to a predetermined temple. A special Pooja of the deity is also arranged It also is an indirect exposure of the groom to the general public.The procession nowadays is in a car preceded by a grand nadaswaram and some times bursting of crackers. In the olden days the procession used to be even on elephants.
Wedding Arrangements
Preparations for the actual wedding ceremony on the day of the wedding Early morning on the wedding day, the bride's family sends to the groom cosmetics, a mirror, a basket filled with sweetmeats to the accompaniment of 'Nadaswaram' music. The groom's Athai (sister of groom’s father) brings a dish of 'appams' (pancakes made from rice flour and jaggery) for this occasion. The 'Vadhyar' usually tie the traditional 'dhoti' or 'Panja Kacham' for the groom and apply 'vibhuti' or sacred ash in three horizontal lines on his forehead. The groom is ready to get married.Our serviceWe will aranage everything, Mirros, Tooth paste, Soap, Comb, Powder, Shampoo, Hot water, Oil, Vibhuti, Coffee / tea, tiffen etc...
Kasi Yatra
This is a very important part of the ceremony. Immediately after his student life, the young bachelor has two alternatives before him – Grihasta or Sanyas. Being by nature in a satwic state due to strict adherence of bachelorhood and observance of austerities, he is drawn towards asceticism. Therefore he makes his way to Kasi, complete with slippers, umbrella, a fan made of bamboo etc. On his way the bride’s father intervenes and advises him of the superiority of married life to an ascetic life. He also promises to give his daughter as companion to face the challenges of life.Dressed in the traditional ‘panchakatcham’, holding an umbrella, a fan, a walking stick, and a towel containing ‘dal’ (lentils) and rice tied to his shoulder, the groom embarks on a mock pilgrimage. As he steps out of the ‘mandapam’, the bride’s father pleads with him not to go to ‘Kashi’ and marry his daughter instead.After much ado the groom accepts and returns to the ‘mandappam’ to get married! The umbrella is to remain with the groom, to remind him in the future of this advice. As promised his wife stands by him in his life.
Malai Mathal
On entering the 'mandapam' the groom discards his walking stick and is garlanded by the bride. The bride and groom are lifted to the shoulders of their respective maternal uncles. This is an expression of continuing sibling support to their mothers. The two garland each other thrice for a complete union. In the shastras, the exchange of garlands symbolizes their unification, as one soul in two bodies. It is inward acceptance by each of the very fragrance in the other.Our serviceWe will provide traditional garlands, variety of garlands, etc
Oonjal / Swing
The couple is then made to sit on a decorated swing. The chains of the swing signify the eternal karmic link with the Almighty. The to and fro motion represents the undulating sea-waves of life. Yet in mind and body they shall move in harmony – steady and stable. The women folk smear their feet with a little milk, 'kumkum' and 'chandan' (sandalwood paste). A pot of water and a lamp set inside a measure containing rice are carried by the bride's mother and other elderly ladies around the swing and the couple is given a mixture of bananas, milk and sugar. Water and lighted lamps are circulated around the swing in order to guard against demons and ghosts. Colored globules of cooked rice are waved in a circular motion and thrown away to propitiate the evil spirits. After the traditional 'aarthi' the bride and groom are escorted for the next ceremony -the 'kanyadhan'. Our service We will provide Swing / Oonjal with fully decorated, palum pazhamum, colored rice, etc...
Kanya Danam
The mantras chanted at this time say:"Let this gold multiply your wealth, Let this water purify your married life, And may your prosperity increase. Offer yourself to your husband."The symbolism of the yoke is drawn out of ancient rural life where the only mode of transport for households was the bullock cart. It is supposed to signify that just as a bullock cart cannot run with just one bull, the marriage needs both the bride and groom. Both of them have to face their responsibilities together.The bride is then given an auspicious ablution. A new sari, exclusive for the occasion, called the koorai is chosen. The colour of the koorai is ‘arraku’ i.e. red, the colour associated with Shakti. This sari is draped around the bride by the sister of the bridegroom, signifying her welcome to the bride. A belt made of reed grass is then tied around the bride’s waist. The mantras then chant:
Kankana Dharanam
The bride ties a string fastened to a piece of turmeric around the wrist of the bridegroom to bind themselves by a religious vow. A little later, the bridegroom ties a kankanam to the bride’s wrist.
Mangalya Dharanam
The tying of the Mangal Sutra or Thali takes place at exactly the pre-determined auspicious hour, known as MUHURTHAM. The bride is seated on the lap of her father, looking eastward while the bridegroom faces westward. The bridegroom ties “Tiru Mangalyam” (special Gold ornament ties in yellow thread) around the neck of the bride. Three knots are tied; The first one by the bridegroom. The other two knots are tied by the groom’s sister to make the bride a part of their family. As he does so the Nadaswaram is played loud and fast so as to muffle any inauspicious sounds at the critical hour. This is called Getti Melam. Sumangali ladies sing auspicious songs. The vedic hymn recited by the bridegr "I pray to the Almighty that I be blessed with a long life. I tie this knot around your neck. Oh Soubhagyawati, may providence bestow on you a fulfilling life of a Sumangali for a hundred years to come!" oom when he ties the knot is: All elders throw “akshadai” (rice mixed with turmeric) on the couple at the time of tying the Thirumangalayam.
Paani Grahanam

This means holding hands. The groom holds the hand of the bride. The mantras say: "The Devas have offered you to me in order that I may live the life of a Grihasta.

We shall not part from each other even when we grow old."

Saptha Padhi
Holding the bride’s hand the bridegroom walks seven steps around the holy fire with her. This is the most important part of the marriage ceremony. And only when they walk these seven steps together (i.e. perform the saptha padhi) is the marriage complete. With each step they take a vow. The belief is that when one walks seven steps with another, one become’s the other’s friend. The mantras said at this time mean:"Ye who have walked with me, become my companion, whereby I acquire your friendship. We shall remain together – Inseparable. Let us make a vow together. We shall love, share the same food, share our strengths, the same tastes. We shall be of one mind.We shall observe the vows together. I shall be the Sama and you the Rig. I shall be the upper world and you the earth. I shall be the sukhilam and you the holder. Together we shall live, beget children and other riches. Come thou, o sweet worded girl."
Pala Dhanam
Gifts are exchanged between the families of the bride and groom. Any gift not accompanied by a token gesture of a coin of small denomination that represents the stored value of human effort is considered incomplete; thus respecting the value of human effort through which wealth is acquired. Also no gift shall be taken without a return gesture, which merits the gift received. Pala Dhanam as ordained by the scriptures is thus an action signifying mutual arrangements between the families, to be based on the principle of equality and respect for each other irrespective of one’s economic stature in life. The return gesture by the family of the groom could never equal to the gift of the bride given to the groom. Hence, the same coin given to the groom’s family is returned to the bride’s family an acknowledgment of the priceless gift received.
Pradhana Homam
A crucial part of the wedding is the homage paid by the couple to Agni, the God of Fire. The couple goes around the fire, and feed it with ghee and twigs of nine types of holy trees as sacrificial fuel. The fumes that arise possess medicinal, curative and cleansing effects on the bodies of the couple. Agni, the mightiest power in the cosmos, the sacred purifier, the all-round benefactor is deemed as a witness to the sacred marriage. Hence the term ‘Agni Saakshi’ or witness by fire.
Arundhati and Dhruva Star
Next the groom shows the bride the star Arundhati (from the Saptha Rishi or Great Bear constellation) as also Dhruva or the pole star. Arundhati is the wife of Vashishta Maharishi and exemplified as the ideal wife - the embodiment of charity. Dhruva is the one who attained immortality through single-minded devotion and perseverance. This is symbolic of the fact that such virtues are to be emulated throughout marital life.
Laaja Homam
This comprises the bride’s own offering into the sacrificial fire. As an expression of sibling support to her marriage her brother helps her. He gives her a handful of puffed rice grains which she hands to the bridegroom, who on her behalf, feeds it to the fire. Through this food offering, the bride seeks a long life for her husband and for propagation of her family. Participation of the bride’s brother indicates the continuance of links between the two families even after marriage. The couple circles the fire three times. The feeding of puffed rice to the fire is also repeated thrice.
Showering of Akshadai
Akshadai , i.e. rice grains coloured with turmeric and saffron are showered on the couple by elders and invitees as benediction (Aasirvadam).
Griha Pravesham
Taking with her fire from the Laaja Homam, the bride takes leave of her home and enters the new home of her in-laws. The vedic hymns recited at this time sound like the mother’s advice to her daughter: "Be the queen of your husband’s home. May your husband glorify your virtues! Conduct yourself in such a way that you win your mother-in-law’s love. And be in the good books of your sister-in-law."
Aseervadam
literally blessing. The groom spreads his Uttariya over his shoulders and his wife stands by his side. Than the elders and learned people in the gathering throw Akshathai (meaning that which never ends but in reality rice coloured by turmeric) at the couple with Vedic prayers to the almighty to give him all that is good in life. They pray for his and his wife’s betterment.
Palum Pazhamum
Then the wife and husband visit first the husband’s house and then the wife’s house .In these houses the female relatives gather and give the husband and wife a spoon each of banana pieces put in milk. Since the husband’s house is normally in some other town, the husband and wife are nowadays taken to the place allotted to the groom’s party and the husband’s relatives give Palum pazhamum there.
Lunch
The lunch normally prepared on the marriage day is a very grand one with umpteen courses. The wife along with her relatives invites the groom and his family for the lunch with a pair of Paruppu Thengai Kutti.Normally a special area is reserved for the lunch of the groom’s relatives. In the olden days before each banana leaf of the groom’s family guests , they used to keep a lit lamp. The husband and wife sit together for their lunch side by side. Lot of mirth and fun is derived by all concerned when the newly married couples are asked to exchange their half eaten food or when they try to feed each other. This is possibly to make them loose their inhibitions and make them realize that they have some very special rights.
Nalangu
The evening of the marriage day is the time to relax and play. The newly wed wife calls her husband for play, inviting him through a song. Much to the merriment of all gathered, there follows a series of playful games. The bride anointing the groom’s feet with colour paste, fanning him, showing him a mirror, breaking papads over each other’s head. Wrenching the betel pack from each other’s hands. Rolling the coconut from one to another as in playing ball and so on. During these events women sing songs, making fun of the bride, the groom and the in-laws. These events bring out the qualities of the bride and the groom’s sporting spirit, kindness, co-operative nature thus surfacing the hidden traits for the other to note, thus bringing about better understanding and compatibility.Our serviceFull set of items required for Nalangu like Metal coconut, papadam (appalam), etc...

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